Forget everything you’ve ever heard bad about marijuana part II

Alright, this is a following post to my previous post called “Forget everything bad you’ve ever heard about marijuana”, I wrote that while I was very tired and I left out a lot I wanted to add. So first of all, I quit smoking cigarettes, as a 15-year-old girl who thought she knew everything in the world, I honestly believed I could smoke a cigarette and not get addicted. Ignorant, right?
Well, we’ve all done things we’re not proud of but in all honesty, I think a lot about my future and health, even think of death a lot, well not in a depressing way, I actually welcome death one day, just hopefully not anytime soon, I’m only 20. I do not fear dying, I only remain realistic about it. But anyway, back to my point.
Everyone knows the dangers of tobacco yet it’s legal and people smoke it despite the statistics showing that an average 438,000 people per year die just from cigarettes, but it’s legal, who cares right? But people have the right to do how they please I suppose, it’s a free country but only as free as they say.
Now, alcohol, I see nothing all that bad about it IF and only IF it’s used in moderation and a person is responsible and/or mature enough, beer has around 12 or so different minerals and vitamins that could actually benefit certain people, like me for example, however, even just a few drinks already begin to alter a person’s brain waves based on a MRI study I recently read. But if you have a birthday party or wedding, I think it’s okay once in a while to splurge a bit, I personally wouldn’t but with MY health, having about half a beer would be healthy for me since my body kinda wastes away on its own despite my diet which I try to control (I’m doing a horrible job though) and maintain AT LEAST 90 pounds, but I’ve been down to 82. But I’m also short, so I’m not exactly a complete sack of bones, but 20 pounds wouldn’t hurt either. Anyhow, I couldn’t find a complete accurate stat but apparently around 80,000 people are killed by alcohol, rather it’s from driving drunk, alcoholism, alcohol poisoning. Alcohol is a downer, while you may have fun feeling a buzz, it’s still a downer, it can make someone very depressed and make rash choices like putting a bullet in their head or even much worse. Also people like me, on antidepressants and other drugs rather illegal drugs or prescribed, just a little bit can put a person in a coma and kill them. Not to mention alcohol can destroy families and relationships, it can destroy an innocent person’s life, I remember being told about a story that a drunk driver hit a full school bus of children around either Kentucky or Ohio and the driver survived but most of the children did not and their families will suffer for the rest of their lives because of a stranger’s bad mistake.
Marijuana on the other hand, there is not one documented case of marijuana killing anyone, granted perhaps a stoned person was driving and hit someone and killed before, but no one has over dosed on it, destroyed lives like alcohol can. I believe marijuana should be legal BUT with restrictions, like a person cannot operate a vehicle or any machinery while high, cannot smoke or be high during the work place UNLESS they have a medical condition and they have no other choice.
Marijuana never made me upset, I was a happy person with self-control because I don’t smoke a giant blunt by myself, I just need a pinch in a pot pipe and I was good, these days, marijuana is way more potent than it use to be, I don’t like being stoned out of my mind all of the time, maybe late in the night around 9 and I want to just relax, then I would smoke a bit more to calm down because just a few hits makes me wanna clean even more than normal and do all kinds of things, but if I wanted to watch movies, (I have a very short attention span and can never sit still long enough to watch a movie) getting a strong high fixes that problem but on the down side it if I accidentally smoke too much then it can cause a problem, for me anyway, it may not affect everyone like that so that’s why I’ve used it in moderation not just for the high but for the medical benefits.
Honestly, these are just what I have studied and concluded, my facts may not be 100 percent accurate but there is truth to them, I did research as I wrote this just to be sure.
But anyway, I am beginning to get sleepy since I can’t smoke anymore and my insomnia has kept me up yet again, so I hope I shared enough and I also post all about hemp hopefully sometime before Saturday.
Thank you for reading.


Forget everything bad you’ve ever heard about marijuana

Alright, what I want to share is all about marijuana and hemp and the research I have made on it. First of all, forget everything you’ve ever heard about marijuana being bad and whatnot.
From what I’ve concluded is that marijuana is an herb and flower, not any kind of drug what so ever, just a plain plant with chemicals. Remember how you use to hear about marijuana kills your brain cells? –Turns out, it’s just a myth, or in my opinion a conspiracy, turns out, marijuana actually encourages the growth of new cells, marijuana also slows tumor growth, prevents cancer from spreading to other organs.
A recent post I came across was a small toddler with a massive brain tumor and some sort of brain cancer, the doctor prescribed cannabis oil to be put on the toddler pacifier twice a day, a few months later, the tumor was already gone and it’s been about a year or so and the child is cancer free.
Recently I’ve been following some Pro-pot sites and what I’ve researched has been amazing. Hemp fibers are stronger than steel, hemp can be used for food, medicine, rope, clothes, cheap paper and cheap concrete and 100 percent biodegradable fuel. A lot of states have already legalized and/or decriminalized marijuana, and Kentucky I believe is the first to legalize hemp about a week ago.
What we could do and make from hemp would help small and large businesses alike, we wouldn’t have to buy so much from China and other countries and supporting them so we could spend more money here, in the United States where it belongs, less tax payer money would be spent on sending people to jail for nonviolent crimes.
Marijuana has been known to treat over 250 different kinds of illnesses like Crohn’s disease, insomnia, depression, Autism, Controlling ALS symptoms, HIV/AIDS, Glaucoma, Hyperthyroidism, anxiety, fibromyalgia, alzheimers, arthritis, herpes, Cystic Fibrosis, relieves stress and migrane pain, asthma and if smoked, actually cleans the lungs. And those are just a few. There are not any side effects, HOWEVER, everyone reacts differently, so if you have insomnia and it makes you sleepy, it may help with that, if you have dehydration, marijuana can help with that. For example, I use to smoke, I will not lie I’ve smoked with my family and I will share my certain benefits, I have hyperthyroidism and depression, I’m also at high risk for heart disease, cancer, crohn’s disease etc. and with hyperthyroidism, I was very moody, depressed, never ate or gained weight when I did eat, was dehydrated, couldn’t sleep, was depressed, (hyperthyrodism causes depression) and when I smoked, I ate and gained weight, slept well at night, I wouldn’t be as depressed, my mind would stop racing and I wouldn’t be overly hyper, I lose all social anxiety and can speak to people clearly and easily while high. Actually, being high doesn’t make me lazy, it makes me want to get up and go do something without having a racing mind making me too hyper, I use to paint houses with my family back when I smoked and I was very active. But anyway, you CANNOT overdose on marijuana, it would help the economy, treat thousands of suffering patients, it is less dangerous than cigarettes and alcohol, violence would actually decrease a little because most violence has to do the drugs, and surely the most common has to be marijuana, granted there will still be crime from drugs but marijuana is not a drug at all.
I would love to see all of the states and even the world legalize marijuana, at least for medical uses, and I am so sad that it’s possible it’s all covered up in a conspiracy, a lot of senators agree that marijuana should be legalized and EVERYONE can help make a difference, that is why I am sharing this, I feel like as an adult, if alcohol is legal then I should be able to smoke a little weed if I wanted to every once in a while if I need to to keep my healthy, since I quit, I lost all weight, I’m on anti-depressants and those help a lot, but I can still get a little moody, and I can never sleep, once I was awake for 52 hours straight. My poems Morning Star and more than half of my poems shared on here were all written while I was high, this is also how I’ve thought of most of my theories and while high, it was the best time for me to think and take notes on everything and anything I wanted. (that’s how I’m learning and speaking 12 different languages including sign language)
So, I have signed petitions, emailed the white house and every senator in 2 different states so far, informed many people and now I’m sharing it on here so hopefully some people can change their views and perhaps decide to research it themselves.
And for another example of the benefits I’ve witnessed, I will share what my sister has experienced with marijuana. She has Bi-polar disorder, depression, ADHD, treats PMS, Rheumatoid arthritis, when she smokes, she has little to no stomach pain, her mind calms down and she can eat it treats all of her symptoms, ALL of them,if she smoked it every time she felt ill, she could get off all of her medicine and not worry about her liver because she is already wasting away. Now, my sister may have only a few years left to live, at least so says her doctor(s) and she had surgery before winter removing some of her intestines and she almost died and seeing her high is the only time I see my sister not in any physical pain whatsoever and being more mentally stable.
That is all I have to share for now, I hope there are many others like me that support this and help make a change because it’s my hopes to see my sister and mom smoke or eat medical marijuana and see them happier and healthier for how ever long they have to live. I’m asking anyone that agrees to please help support the cause of medical marijuana and they would have no idea how much it would make me happy.
Thank you for reading.

I thought I’d share more personal things.

I have found my smile again. My depression still comes and goes but things are better. I keep having dreams of Bucky, (my dog.) though. I tried cleaning up the house so I could get my mind off of her. Although, depression seems to make me more lazy. Or at least feel lazy. After cleaning the kitchen and doing dishes, I was cleaning the floor and where her food bowl use to be, were still her tiny paw prints on the floor.

It was so hard to wipe them up. I just wanted to leave them there to see her little paw prints. So yesterday was a sad day after cleaning up her paw prints. There is even a blood stain still on the floor where she died that I simply cannot clean up. I just cannot do it. That’s where my little baby died and I don’t want to get rid of it. I probably won’t be able to get it up anyway, my mama is still the all-knowing cleaner around here.. I have much to learn.

Anyway. I have been able to look at positives thanks to an acquaintance of mine. Well, I actually look up to him more like a teacher-of-life. But he is full of wisdom that really just knows how to get through to me. So, I’m ready to open up to a new relationship with a new dog. I really wanted to get a shelter dog but my parents insist on getting a puppy to raise how we want. But in time, I will be able to do as I wish. Actually, I would really love a cat too, but my parents dislike cats.

My parents still have to heal before welcoming a new baby into our lives but I could go for one right away. As much as I love them, it seems like we always have wishes that conflict with one another, but I’m a patient person and I do not mind, not after all they’ve ever done for me.

Change is constant, change is important, so I must accept that. I do feel like it opens up a new chapter in my life. I’ve finally nagged my mother enough to take me to get my driver’s license (Been trying since I was 18.) and I think I will look into school and perhaps become something I’m good at.. Which could be guitarist, artist, vet, nurse, etc. Although that conflicts with my parents again since they do not want me to ever leave home. I couldn’t do that to them anyway, they need me to clean, cut the grass and watch dad while mama works part-time.

But I’m sure something will work out, it always does for me.



The meaning of existence isn’t so palpable. Why are we here? –An all too common question. One that isn’t going to answer itself. But one could objurgate that the answer varies. But what is the main reason? If there’s any reason at all, that is.

Does it matter? Trying to figure it out isn’t going to do anything but make my brain hurt. All I do is curiously tilt my head in wonder and ponder about why I even try to figure it out. But asking these questions is fun, even without the answers. How am I to know that I even exist? How do I know that anything is real? But who cares? I chose to believe that I exist and so does everything else.

Life is simply inscrutable. Life is a video game leaving most people without cheats and everyone without start overs. There’s always challenges and battles with some goal at the end. Yet some people find glitches. Maybe they’re in a horrible accident leaving them paralyzed or they have a mental illness.

I’m not really going anywhere with this, just basically thinking out loud. But as I watch the world move around me, I find it harder and harder to imagine there is no meaning to life. Despite the lack of answers, there must be something going on we’re not all aware of.

At the moment, I’m taking time to just be grateful for everything I do and do not have. Something I probably don’t do often enough. Oh, how grateful I am to just be able to walk, see, speak and feel love from my family. My cousin I mentioned before with having cancer passed away last week and I’m taking extra time to be grateful for the lives that aren’t gone yet.

We all think we have all the time in the world, that we will live a long full life, fall in love and have children. But I could be killed tomorrow without ever having done anything in my life. There’s always that ominous voice in our heads telling us to do something with our lives.

What do I want? I want to hold a bird in my hand, I want to feed apples to a horse, I want to save the lives of animals and love them. Anyone who knows me, knows that animals are my everything. They know I have some sort of “gift” with animals.

That could be the meaning of my life, but not all of existence. I guess no one will really know, but perhaps that’s not such a bad thing.

Me and animals.

I must learn to say no to my sister. Or else, I’ll be living over there. She’s coming over to kidnap me again tomorrow. I JUST GOT HOME FROM THERE. I cannot help it. She has this power over me and I lose all ability to say no. Darn her, she does the exact same thing I do if she doesn’t get something she really wants, she pouts.

Gah, now I know how I make my parents feel when I start pouting.

But it isn’t so bad. I actually met their neighbors. I really didn’t say a whole lot to them since it was awkward for me but when I saw their pit bull puppy, I became their best friends. We even traded Xbox games. Now I have Halo. I mostly talked to them about how to train their new puppy and how it’s important to socialize her. Then of course, any other neighbor’s that had pets, I spoke to. So all a person needs apparently is an animal for me to not feel awkward and speak to them with complete eye contact.

Neighbor: “careful, he tries to nip.”

Me: “I don’t see any aggression in his body language, he’s just acting like a big baby.”

Doggy jumps in my lap and kisses me.

Me: “Aww, you’re just a big baby boy, aren’t you.”

Neighbor: “He normally tries to nip at strangers, but he’s acting like a puppy right now.”

Yes, it’s true. I have this power over animals and they just love me haha. I remember back at my old place in Indiana, I’d have apples, I love apples and I’d take a walk by the woods and sometimes deer would come out and actually take apple slices straight from my hand. I never called them towards me so I’m guessing they were tame deer.

Normally I wouldn’t do that with a wild animal but it was so surreal to me, I let them take the apples, I never touched the deer though. I just went on my merry way. Although, I wish I could do that again, it was just so heart warming to me to be with an animal most people can never get close to and have it eating out of my hand.

Oh, if only I could see all of those little animals I’ve saved before. So many baby birds, kittens and bunnies I fed every four hours to save. I even lost some. I remember an orphan bunny I found at the cemetery years ago, it was so tiny. No way it would have survived. At first, I thought the mama bunny would be back for it but when I found a dead bunny by the road, I chose to take the little baby. For 2 months, I took care of her till I went back to the cemetery to release her. It was heart breaking, the way she tried to follow me back to the car. But it was for the best.

Anyway. I really need to clean my room before I have to leave again tomorrow. I just cleaned my walls and everything on the walls so now I have to clean everything else and hopefully shampoo my carpet again before I have to leave. I wish I had to more time to brain storm on an interesting blog I could have posted but at least I got to post something.

Thank you for reading.

Awkward conversation with my sister. Help!

Dad: Sarah! Your sister is on the phone and wants to talk to you!

Me: I hate talking on the phone! *whines jokingly*

Dad: Come talk to your sister!

Me. Ugh. Yes sir.

Miranda: Hi, seester!

Me: Hiiii!

Miranda: Go to your room so grandpa can’t hear us.

Me: Why?

Miranda: *giggles* Just do it.

Me: Okie dokie lokie.

Me: Okay. What now?

Miranda: Guess what?

Me: Most toilets flush in E flat?

Miranda: ..Huh? What?.. No. I know someone that likes you.

Me: A friend?

Miranda: Yes, he said he likes you.

Me: Oh. You don’t mean as a friend?

Miranda: What do you mean?

Me: I thought you meant someone likes me as a friend.

Miranda: You don’t have any friends.

Me: Heather.

Miranda: Only because she lives so far away and she doesn’t have to put up with you all the time. *jokingly*

Me: Valid point.

Miranda: It’s Jake, remember him?

Me: Yes? So?

Miranda: So, have him take you out on a date!

Me: Um. No.. That’s okay. I’ll just stay here.

Miranda: Why not! Don’t you like him?

Me: Sure, I suppose, he’s nice and funny.

Miranda: Well, don’t you want a boy-toy? He could be your lover!

Me: You’re strange.

Miranda: Coming from the person that has conversations with spiders and plays with toys.

Me: Shouldn’t you be in the kitchen? Cleaning or taking care of your man? *joking*

Miranda: I could see you meeting Jake now. *acts like me* Oh, hi Jakey-wakey. Do wanna play with MY Xbox?

Me: That makes no sense!

Miranda: Are you gonna date him?! You two would look so cute together!

Me: He makes fun of my voice.

Miranda: Because he thinks it’s cute!

Me: He said I sound like a mouse!

Miranda: *laughs* Because it’s cute!

Me: *I start to stutter, it happens once in a while* Wh-why are you concerned with my my love life?

Miranda: Because you don’t have a love life.

Me: What’s wrong with that?

Miranda: Because you let your shyness get in the way of everything.

Me: It’s awkwardness, I’m not shy. And I’m working on that.

Miranda: *acts like me again* Oh, Miranda, will order for me, I’m too shy to speak to the waitress myself.

Me: That’s because last time I ordered to her, she went on about my voice. And I didn’t say that!

Miranda: Everyone says something about your voice!

Me: Ugh, I knowww.

Miranda: Let him take you on a date. Please, for me anyway? I think it’ll really help you!

Me: Wouldn’t that be leading him on? Just doing it so it may help me? That’s not very nice.

Miranda: I didn’t mean like that! You said you liked him.

Me: As a friend.

Miranda: You don’t like him that way?

Me: I dunno. I don’t really know his personality.

Miranda: Do you think he’s cute?

Me: In a puppy dog sort of way, sure.

Miranda: Don’t you like anyone?

Me: I don’t gossip about that sort of thing.

Miranda: It isn’t gossip!

Miranda: Jake has a farm.

Me: A farm?? Really? Does he have animals?

Miranda: I don’t know. I can ask.

Me: Um. No, that’s okay.

Miranda: No, hold on, I’ll ask him right now.

Me: Nooo.

Miranda: Just give it a shot. Please, just to see if you like him. He’s really a great person.

Me: I don’t wanna be hooked up with anyone.

Miranda: Just try it, pleaaaassse. I’m only trying to help.

Me: Beni benimle birak. (leave me alone.)

Miranda: No! Just one date. You may really like him.

Me: Ugh. *sigh* What if I don’t like him like that? I don’t want to hurt him.

Miranda: It’s better to hurt him for only a little bit than never giving him a chance.

Me: Really?

Miranda: Yes.

Me: But it seems so mean.

Miranda: No it’s not! It’s life!

Me: I guess that if I don’t like him or vice versa then it simply isn’t supposed to be that way.

Miranda: Exactly. So give him a shot, he really likes you.

Me: You know, I’ll only say yes because you will never stop bugging me about it. Besides, it may be fun. Maybe. Hopefully. Oh.. I don’t know, maybe I should just stay here…

Miranda: Nooo! It’ll be fun, please please please pleeeaaaseeee. *very dramatic please*

Me: *sigh* If it means that much to you. Alright.

Miranda: Yay! just one date, he doesn’t need to be your boyfriend or anything.

Me: Okay, I’ll just have to say that it’s nothing serious, just giving it a shot in case I do end up liking him.

Miranda: He’s sexy, how could you not?

Me: Looks are about as meaningful as the dirty pair of socks your husband likes to throw at me.

Miranda: Haha. You can hit him for that!

Me: That’s mean. I’ll stick to just mooning him haha.

Miranda: Hahaha. I’ll let you go then! Just next time you come over, you can call Jake! Okay? Ich liebe dich!

Me: I hate talking on the phone. Ich liebe dich auch. Bye!

I normally don’t ask for advice. But I’m not into dating quite yet, I’m working on my awkwardness and other things right now. But does this seem like a good idea? Or does it seem kinda mean? I thought I should only go on a date if I want to. Not because my sister bound and gagged me put a gun to my head and said “DATE HIM”.

I can’t help but think this feels a little wrong, but who knows, I may end up liking him. But if I’m not ready, this may do more harm than good. I don’t know what to think. The thing feels very confusing. Help?

Just thinking again.

Is there really any point to life? One may say, absolutely, are you nuts?! Others may say, the point is to die. Even more say that is just simply to live and enjoy life. I like to think of life as a giant video game, that we’re all a giant simulation, being told what to do by something pressing a bunch of buttons. Sometimes I take things too seriously, other times, I take nothing as serious. Life reminds me of babysitting. Tending to the needs of our body, because just like a baby, we cannot expect our skin to just pop off and go bathe itself, or have our stomaches take a little joy ride by its self to get food. No, we have to do it ourselves.

Life is unfair. But life is unfair for everyone, which makes it fair. I am optimistic and ebullient, rather there is any point to life, it doesn’t matter to me at all. I often ponder about what makes life so great for me. Although I can disport myself, it is immediately forgotten. Was there really any point to it? The small things make me wonder. I believe that there are many purposes and none at all. I bet you’re wondering how it can be both.

Just like my own theory on time, I believe that it does exist and that it doesn’t exist. Time is just a word to me, to describe the minutes, hours and years. But do I believe that time is actually real? Yes and no. I believe that since the world moves around us that we’re constantly in motion even when not a single muscle is flinched. We are constantly being thrown into new dimensions that are taking place at different moments. That is time. Time as we all perceive isn’t real to me, every moment in “time”, past, present, future are all taking place at this very moment, and probably always will. I believe in a lot of things in similar ways. Life being one of them. There is no real point to living, yet everywhere I look I can find a point to it. Even this blog. Is there any point? It doesn’t seem like it. Yet, there is a point, me just writing, getting my thoughts out there in case anyone decides to read it. Is there any point to a person reading it? No. But yes, if I got a single like or a person shared their thoughts, it’s nice. Just that anyone would take the time to see what I’ve written is nice.

All I know, is that, despite time and finding a purpose in life, I am self-aware. Even if there is no real purpose in life, I do not care, I will find my own purpose. I already have many, my love for animals and caring for them being my number one.

Perhaps, that’s all I really need to find a point to everything.