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Where do I begin?!

Hah, I have no clue so I’ll just share a bunch of things!

Forgive me as I have not been able to come online for a bit. I just came home the other day after spending 4 days at my sister’s new apartment to help her move. Which was awful, by the way. I loved helping her and being useful but I got so homesick and missed my mama, daddy and doggy so much. I was away from home 3 more days than my usual comfort zone! I felt so horrible because she didn’t want me to leave, it was fun being there, but it didn’t numb my sorrows from being away from mama.

I also almost came home with a turtle. I found one outside after mama came to pick me up, it wasn’t afraid so I picked it up and even in my excitement, I was able to make eye contact with a family getting in their car and show them the turtle, I didn’t say anything, besides from talking to the turtle. But I carried it off the road into the grass and trees and set it free.

Also, before my sister moved, her and her husband, Matt, thought it would be a hoot to take me fishing. Oh, joy.

I hate it because I feel like I’m hurting the adorable fish and killing worms. But they insisted, so I went. I am a klutz, may I add, so it was awful. I managed to get a hook in my finger, slip on a rock. My line got stuck in a tree…. Twice. I had to climb the tree up about 12 feet but the line broke so at this moment I’m covered in poison ivy from climbing that tree. I also didn’t catch a fish. But I am laughing about my dumb self for not noticing the poison ivy on the tree. I’m so itchy and I have awful looking little red bumps on my arms. OH, and I got stung by a sweat bee. I forgot about that. Oh, and also the sunburn for forgetting sun block. ALL OF THAT, just one day of fishing. I don’t think I should leave the house without a helmet.

Anyway, I just thought I’d share why I haven’t been posting anything but I have a lot of cleaning to catch up on, so I will probably share more of what I’ve been up to. But I’m going to the hospital later, a family member has been given only 3 weeks to live with cancer riddled through out her brain, bones, breast and lymph nodes. So again, forgive me if I’m not back online for a little bit longer.

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I can’t even remember what I was writing about.

Insomnia. It’s driving me mad. Normally warm milk and honey does the trick but sometimes, I just don’t like it.

Since I am awake at this hour, (3:46AM) I thought I’d post something. Maybe pointless, irrelevant or whatever. But I am now officially a gun owner, yay me! Daddy gave me the 22. I’ll be 21 next year anyway and I’ve been shooting and handling guns since I was eight. I took it apart and put it back together a few times to get the hang of it because it’s a bit more tricky than the average 22. but I love it.

On a another note, I’ve been practicing a few things to help get over my awkwardness around people, men and speaking on the phone. Not doing so well, but baby steps.

My sister also told me the other day that my half-brother moved out of California away from his real mom and lives with his real dad now. Hopefully, I will be able to meet him since he only lives in the next state over. I was excited about that and for him to be away from Sheila (our birth mother.), she only took him after his grandmother passed away and tried to get my brother’s money which his grandma left him. It’s sad, but that’s how she is, she’s done it to too many people to remember. I will not speak badly of her though, she probably doesn’t deserve the respect but she is still the women that gave birth to me so I will always respect her in a sense. I still have hope for her but I won’t keep my hopes very high.

This is starting to feel more like my diary. But I’m actually a bit flattered if anybody takes the time to read it and poke around inside my head.

I’ve had a lack of creativity and a bit of writer’s block the last few days, perhaps I should spend a little extra time, reading, listening to music and meditating then see if that helps. I haven’t even tried picking up one of my guitars. Shame on me. I was sucked into playing Xbox all day. Even been a bit lazy and not cleaning so much. Perhaps, I’ve just been thinking too much, time to just be a bit more carefree and let things work out on its own.

I keep trying to fall asleep in my chair so I should probably end this here and force down some milk and honey anyway.

Mr. Sticky Legs

*Something catches my eye*

Me using my baby talk voice : “Oh, well hi there, you cute little tiny spider. Aren’t you just adorable.”

*looks for something to catch it in*

Me : “don’t worry, little guy, I won’t harm you, I’m a gentle giant.”

*grabs a candle lid and a coaster*

Me: “Aww, you’re so cute Mr. Sticky Legs, you just wanted to live in this awesome room of mine, huh?”

*Using a different voice to make the spider reply back*

Spider : “Yes, Sarah, your room is just too cool I just had to see if I could live here with you.”

Me: “Well, I dunnooo. What kinda rent can you pay?”

Spider : “Oh, well, I thought I could stay for free.”

Me: “Nope, I’m sorry, I guess I’ll have to throw you out on the streets-”

Miranda (My sister) : “What are you doing?”

Me : “About to throw this little spider outside”

Miranda “EW! MATT! There’s a spider in here!!! Kill it!”

Me “No, don’t kill it, it isn’t hurting anyone.”

Miranda : “It’s hurting me!”

Matt (My sister’s husband) *walks in with a shoe and squishes it*

Then I proceed to feel depressed for ten minutes before I thought of some funny jokes that made me laugh.

And that is how my day has been.

Sorry, couldn’t think of anything else to post and I haven’t posted anything for a few days.

But thanks for reading anyway!

Thoughts.

Life is strange. So many odd things occur with no reasonable explanation. The paranormal and super-natural stories, people claim to be psychic, all of these strange things so many people fear to openly speak of. It’s quite interesting. The human brain is an odd organ, indeed. So many things unknown about ourselves yet we strive to enter technology rather than poke around inside our own brains.

Just because something isn’t necessarily logical doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Assuming that it is, is about as logical as unlogical. (See what I did there?)

People claim to have an open mind, yet giggle and chuckle when someone utters the words “fairies” or “UFOs”. Or roll their eyes when a person claims to speak to the dead or can read minds. In a universe as strange as ours why is something as such so commonly refered to as eccentric? I’ve read many books on these subjects, I believe that it is possible. Therefore, if it’s possible, I believe that it may exist. Do I truly believe in pukwedgies or magic with all my heart and soul? -No, but I would not be shocked if I happen to ever experience or witness it.

It is human nature to long for a reason of our somewhat petty existence on how it has come to be and why. People look at science for answers, but since science cannot answer everything, people turn to religion. Is it hard for me to have an open mind for a God or creator? No, but the day I die and find out, would it matter so much? Living a life in constant fear of sinning and punishment, having a God(s) watching every move I make and listening to every one of my thoughts. It doesn’t matter, I’ll live my life and not dwell on that, I’ll be the best person I can be and whatever sins I commit as a sinner are well deserved for punishment. Or when I die and there is no God, what will it matter then either? -I’ll be dead, I won’t really care too much of what’s around me. But looking at everything in this world, it is hard to imagine everything in this strange place without some higher power watching over it. But then again, there could be some other super-natural cause, also.

I find it strange to go through my memories and think about what triggers my brain to do that or to tell my body to move and not know what causes it. I do not mean neural impulses or the primary motor cortex, I mean what exactly triggers the urge to move. Even as I type, I am not sure how my brain is urging my fingers to move or my eyes reading everything as I go. What is it that exactly compels me to move to just simply brush my teeth or something as complex as playing my guitar?

We are all so different yet the same. We have a beating heart, thoughts, just a bunch of piles of flesh and smelly organs that are in motion constantly to just keep us alive. Yet, we’re all so diverse, what forms our opinions and makes us favor something? Could it be something so strange that a one person likes the color red and another likes green, but they’re both seeing  the same color just their brains register them as different colors the other cannot see the same way? How absurd, two people seeing the same color but see them as a different. Maybe what I really see is orange when I’m looking at something yellow or purple when I’m looking at pink yet we go by the names of the colors we were taught.

Or perhaps my insomnia is making me delusional and I’m blabbering about things that most people will think I’m stoned on something for writting of.

In a world so full of wonder and unanswered questions, why is it so hard for people to open their minds up and think “hey, maybe, just maybe magic really does exist or this person has a gift to see into the future”.

Anyway, I’m off to meditate and rest before I pass out while playing video games.. (Again.)

A thing people normally ask me.

This is yet another personal blog on a perspective of mine, people I meet normally ask why I think the way I do on this subject so it’s merely an opinion of mine so when anyone asks, I’ll point to this blog here.

I’m sexist.

I was not raised to be this way towards women, nor do I ever belittle women because I’m sexist. Looking around at the ladies today, I can see why in some of the middle east, they have to be covered up at all times. Now, do not get me wrong, some of the treatment of women there is very wrong like if a women is raped, she’ll get lashes, because it’s her own fault for being raped. But I recently seen a girl who couldn’t have been more than 16 with a skirt that showed her butt as she walked and a shirt that hardly covered her belly button. Now, a parent can only do so much for setting a good example before the child will do what they do but this was a bit disturbing. I believe in modesty, I do not like showing a lot of my skin while in public, I try to avoid as much attention as I can, unless my mama forces me to wear a dress. But as long as the dress covers my knees, I can handle it.

I also believe the woman should do all the cooking and cleaning. It only seems fair if the man has to go out and work to earn money for food, then it’s fair that the woman cooks it. It isn’t hard, and it can be very fun! I love it if I can listen to my music while I clean and throw in a few awful dance moves while I do the dishes or fold clothes.

I would personally like the manly man, maybe facial hair and fairly large, and to me, seeing a man dusting or sweeping isn’t very manly, although, if he’s just being nice and doing it, I would be ever so grateful but I would prefer to be the one doing it.

As for, the old timey things, like voting, I will not lie, politics go right over my head. I’m not the best judge of character because I trust until given a reason not to, and trying to vote between a bunch of people who promise the good, I just cannot choose. I know, I probably should try to better understand politics for my country and such but to be honest, I’m not too proud of my country, America, for a few reasons. But I still love my country, it would be wrong not to.

Another thing, hitting a woman. A woman should never be hit by a man, because physically, it’s completely unfair.

Although, if the woman hits the man, I think a man can only take so much before he hits back, so the woman would be asking for it, and deserves it, in my perspective.

I believe if a woman wants a career if she does not already have one, it has to be approved be the man in her life. I do want a career to help out with bills and have my own money but I’ll be just fine if I had a man who said no. I’m okay with that, more time to spend playing Xbox in my mind.

Although, I’m sexist, I still want some respect, I do not want to be yelled at for simple things like if dinner is a bit late or I forgot to iron work clothes. Nor do I ever want to be told what to do if it’s something that’s too much to ask for, but if I am able to do it, I will do it.

But as I said, I do not tell other women to do this, I know many that will more than likely disagree with what I believe, and that is fine, it’s okay to. But as I would not “troll” or “hate” on another persons thoughts, I’d like the same respect and not throwing any hateful or angry comments at me for this blog. I do not intend to offend anyone, so politely ignore this and enjoy the rest of your day.

More thoughts since I have the urge to write.

Just another personal blog.

Does anyone else wonder why? -if you wave your hand really fast in front of a tv or pc screen when it’s on makes your hand look all neat like your hand is pretending to be The Flash and it’s in a super fast speed. It’s amusing.

Anyway, I just cleaned the ceiling fan in the living room and about to sweep and scrub the kitchen floor. So I’ve been a bit productive all day. Job searching a bit too. Maybe thinking about picking up one of my guitars later since I haven’t played in a while. I’ve been wanting to figure out some more lead in Goatwhore or Brujeria. I also have Let Me Go, Lover by Dean Martin stuck in my head. I freakin’ love Dean. I would marry him.

Anyway… I’m in a bit of mourning since my African Violet is dying. I think I may have shocked him when I replanted him a few days ago. Of course then again, I had just watered Fluffy, (I name my plants) and mama comes in and dumps a cup of water in him so he may have been over-watered. I’ve given him extra care, Proper sun, shade, humidity and talking to him and playing classical music for Fluffy, but it hasn’t done much help. At least, my other African Violet, Cpt. Prettypedals has survived the replanting.

Anyway, I have some languages to catch up on and finish cleaning so good day, and sorry for the pointless blog.

Nothing inspirational, just random thoughts.

Sometimes, I strongly dislike living in Indiana, in middle of nowhere. Sure, I can look at all the adorable horses everywhere and such, but driving 15 miles to get to the closest store is a pain in the butt.

BUT. I was thinking, if zombies ever take over the world, all this flat land here is perfect. All the horses to ride when I can no longer drive, all the farm and crops and the lack of people makes it likely that there won’t be too many zombies around.

But Indiana still kinda sucks. Of course, when I did live in a big city and there was everything to do, I still just sat at home without any friends and played Xbox, guitar and did all my other hobbies. But at least here, I’m able to go to the gun range.

I went the other day and fired off some of the 9mm. It stovepiped too much, but it could have been the ammo. Otherwise, it was light and it kept a good group of ammo in a tight spot, so it’s accurate. The 3.57 is always my favorite though. I love the heavy recoil. I have yet to shoot the 32. but that belongs to my mama.

Oh well. I saw a kitten yesterday, I couldn’t help but pick up and snuggle. A lady said they were free, to take one, of course I jump at the chance, but dad said no. Not even my pouting, slight temper tantrum could get him to break. I even cried a bit, still didn’t work. I just can’t help it, animals are my passion and I wanted that kitten. I know my limit to animals, I can’t stand dust, clutter or filth so one dog and one kitten is fine, the way I clean, I could have a couple of animals, no problem.

But I can understand why dad said no. Oh, well. I’m off to play Xbox.