I can’t even remember what I was writing about.

Insomnia. It’s driving me mad. Normally warm milk and honey does the trick but sometimes, I just don’t like it.

Since I am awake at this hour, (3:46AM) I thought I’d post something. Maybe pointless, irrelevant or whatever. But I am now officially a gun owner, yay me! Daddy gave me the 22. I’ll be 21 next year anyway and I’ve been shooting and handling guns since I was eight. I took it apart and put it back together a few times to get the hang of it because it’s a bit more tricky than the average 22. but I love it.

On a another note, I’ve been practicing a few things to help get over my awkwardness around people, men and speaking on the phone. Not doing so well, but baby steps.

My sister also told me the other day that my half-brother moved out of California away from his real mom and lives with his real dad now. Hopefully, I will be able to meet him since he only lives in the next state over. I was excited about that and for him to be away from Sheila (our birth mother.), she only took him after his grandmother passed away and tried to get my brother’s money which his grandma left him. It’s sad, but that’s how she is, she’s done it to too many people to remember. I will not speak badly of her though, she probably doesn’t deserve the respect but she is still the women that gave birth to me so I will always respect her in a sense. I still have hope for her but I won’t keep my hopes very high.

This is starting to feel more like my diary. But I’m actually a bit flattered if anybody takes the time to read it and poke around inside my head.

I’ve had a lack of creativity and a bit of writer’s block the last few days, perhaps I should spend a little extra time, reading, listening to music and meditating then see if that helps. I haven’t even tried picking up one of my guitars. Shame on me. I was sucked into playing Xbox all day. Even been a bit lazy and not cleaning so much. Perhaps, I’ve just been thinking too much, time to just be a bit more carefree and let things work out on its own.

I keep trying to fall asleep in my chair so I should probably end this here and force down some milk and honey anyway.


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