Just a little something more personal.

My sister at 3 months old.

That is Miranda, my older sister. I wish I had more pictures of us together while we were kids but since we hardly seen each other I only have a few. My sister is the best, I would be so alone without her, she is my family, my best friend forever and my true love.

Well, I’m not exactly proud of this picture, but it shows how close we are now… And how silly.

Yes, we were acting like men, I was being a “sir.”

She was such a rotten brat when we were little. She would lock me in cabinets and closets and smash my fingers in her books and steal my toys while never sharing hers. I can only laugh about it now. She would put a laundry basket over me and sit on it so I would cry because I couldn’t get out.

She looks sweet, but she was evil.

She’s also talented. She is so creative. She always did well in school, I always wanted to be like her. I let her do my hair once, she put blue in my hair, I liked it, she did very well and managed to sneak a picture in the car.

I thought it looked okay plus it matched my lip ring.

I wanted to share this because I think she is amazing and she is the best. But I got the news 2 days ago that she will be very lucky to live another 5 years and will not live a full life. She has Crohns Disease and has almost died a few times because of Crohns. She had emergency surgery in June (On my birthday) and almost died. She also fractured her knee because her medication is making her bones  disintegrate away so she just had another surgery on her knee. This is after the first knee surgery.

Doesn’t even look like a knee.

 

I’ve already mourned for a death that hasn’t even happened. I know she is strong so it’s likely she will surpass her life expectancy but I hope that isn’t just wishful thinking.

I will not allow myself to cry while writing this or let myself dwell on it because she isn’t dead yet. I know her life has been filled with all sorts of different kind of pain, and while I want that to end, I want to be selfish and never let her die. I don’t want her to leave me and go to some after-life or whatever happens to us after we die, I want her to be with me till we die together. But I will be strong, I do not need to cry anymore. The truth is, we don’t really know when or how she’ll die so I’m just going to spend the time I have left with her. I am so happy and grateful for the time we’ve had together and the time yet to come. She is amazing.

It just reminds me of why you should never take anyone for granted because they’re special and someday, we may have to go on in life without them.

But otherwise, I am happy, so please don’t worry that I’m crying my eyes out or going on with the “woe is me” thing, I am very happy. Happy to be lucky enough to have her here with me right now. I’ve finished crying. There is no use making myself upset for something that hasn’t even happened yet. So I can still tell one of my hilarious jokes and laugh. I am just A-okay.

I will never forget this photo.

I think she’s beautiful.

Thank you for reading.

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3 thoughts on “Just a little something more personal.

  1. Very heart warming post.
    Thank you for sharing this beautiful part of your life.
    I very much admire your love and bond that you have with her.
    I wish you both blessings and happiness together.

  2. I’m so sorry that you’ve had to go through that with your sister. It sounds like you are both very strong. As always, you have a wonderful perspective. I’m glad that you’re happy and enjoying your time with your sister. I live the photos you used in this post. They’re really beautiful.

    Hugs

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